Monday, January 19, 2009

What I think and say...pretty much the same...mostly.

I had a conversation with someone the other day about how incredibly open I am and brutally honest, and I thought it to be interesting indeed and it got me thinking.

Literally, mostly any thought that I have I don't care if it is spoken aloud...which is why when I speak, most people think I have a shoe in my mouth. My mouth, brain, whatever you want to call it, gets me into trouble least I think it does. Those who know me, thankfully, are very forgiving because they know this already. Does it excuse me, maybe...but more significantly I think it has made me lazy. Lazy because I don't put a lot of effort, most of the time, into carefully planning my speech. I just speak what's on my mind. I probably even use a lot of "um's, uh's, er's" get the point, it's even possible I use these more than most. Do I care? Sometimes. Especially when I can see that what I'm saying has turned someone else another color or worse...perhaps I'm the catalyst for causing high blood pressure.

So I write, a lot. I do this because it does actually force me to clarify my thoughts. Do I make better since when I write things down...perhaps. Sometimes the thoughts I write are just as confusing as if I were speaking them aloud, but at least I can get the jist of them better.

I should say now that if I write something offensive to you, it's not intentional. When I talk, I often remind the person to which I'm speaking of my disclaimer. It goes something like this: I don't mean to say something that offends, but if I should please know that it is not my intention and I'm just a little slow. Or something along those lines that is equally effective in getting my point across.

There. I feel better. Did any of that make sense? Perhaps I'm overthinking...again. But it's kind of what I do.

On a brighter note, we're feeling better around here. Sam's fever is coming down, although she's still pathetic and clingy. Austin's sore throat and awful cough seems to be less today than yesterday. Alex is, as ever, his rascally self....completely uneffected by the fact that his entire family has felt awful for the last few days.

I look forward to having this extra day to spend with all my kids. I so totally enjoy their company. I'm thinking we'll go outside and play and maybe even have a bite to eat at the park. They would really like that, and the fresh air is always appreciated - even when it's bitingly cold.


vaxhacker said...

Sounds a lot like what goes on in my own brain. Which, come to think of it, is probably not the most reassuring thing...

Jen said...

I do the same thing. My patriarchal blessing tells me to watch my tongue. Just last week I was talking to friends telling them I was burnt out on my calling. The mother of one of the kids I teach over heard and starting telling me she doesn't want me to teach HER son and to tell the bishop I want to be released. Very rude thing she did. I guess I should have been more quiet.

wendy said...

What - think before you speak - what a novel idea. Hmmmm, I understand that "problem" . I don't think there are really THAT many people who say things to offend on purpose. Brain to tongue sometimes just gets twisted somwhere. I sometimes say "don't listen to what I said, just listen to what I meant". carry on