A while back, I mentioned that I got the book, The Shack - by William P. Young. I sat down and started to read it, but was overcome with emotion and was quite unable to finish it at the time. I must admit, this was a hard read simply because of the protrayl of God, Jesus and The Holy Ghost. I so know that they are not as they are protrayed, physically I mean, and trying to even think of them in that way bothered me enough to not see the finer points...at first.
Without giving the book away entirely, I'll share with you basically the jist of what's on the back cover, essentially something that you could learn or read on the website or if you just picked up the book and looked it over. It's about a man, Mack, who is struggling because his youngest daughter, Missy, was abducted during a family vacation and the evidence suggests that she was brutally murdered. Evidence turns up in this old abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. He becomes very sad, understandably, and it's even fair to say angry at God. Four years later, he receives an odd note in the mailbox, apparently from God, asking Mack to go to the shack for a weekend. He's a little irritated and thinks someone is playing a joke on him, but decides to go regardless. When he gets there, what happens to him over the course of the weekend changes his perspective on life and love and just changes him.
Like I said, I found this a very hard read. It is very simply written, but the concepts very real and there is a lot of truth in it. It was hard for me to read because here's this man, who is suffering because of the loss of his child. Here I am, not suffering anymore, but coping with a similar nightmare with one of my children, only my sweet child is alive and very well. He's dealing with the fact that someone harmed his little girl and I'm dealing with the fact that someone may have harmed mine. The evidence in his case later becomes very clear and obvious. The evidence in our case, while it has been collected, is not fully understood and it will be a long while before I'll have any answers. I have enough of an answer to be able to hold her and love her and pray for her and just to be her mom...which I enjoy beyond words.
So, I'll post a few parts of this book that helped me and wish to share with you all - if only as a reminder of these things that you probably already know. I mean, I know these things and have known them, but they touched my heart so powerfully and at the right time in my life so that I could feel God's love for me when I needed to feel it the most. At one time in Mack's conversation with God (who is protrayed, I might add, as a large Black woman they call Papa...no joke) Mack almost yells at Papa (God) saying that God abandoned him. Papa replied that he never left him. When Mack retorts that that doesn't make any sense, Papa replied, "...Will you at least consider this: When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose site of me?"
Whoa...I have to admit that there have been times in my life where, fortunately, for brief periods of time that's all I could see...pain. Whether mine or someone I love. I was drowning in it and lost sight of God. When I allowed myself to let go of this pain, with the help of God, I felt as if my burden was lifted and my prospects greater.
Oh this just gets better and better...I might have to stretch this into a few posts (I am tired). Papa goes on to tell Mack that he's not what Mack thinks he is, and of course Mack is confused. A bird lands on the windowsill and began strutting around. Papa then offers this: "Consider our little friend here...Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around." "You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around." "Living unloved is like clipping a bird's wings and removing its ability to fly. Not something I want for you." "...pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly." "And if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place." (I just realized that I posted another flying analogy a while back...different, but still...huh.)
Man, how real is that? That's pretty well put. I don't know if I can really add anymore to it except that during times in my life I've certainly lacked the capacity to feel God's love for me, and this restriction and weakness on my part was, of course, by my own doing. No matter the circumstance, or reasons I felt justified in feeling that way.
Ok, too deep? Well, I'll have to delve more into it tomorrow. I just realized that I have a dentist appointment first thing in the morning and so I'd better get some sleep.