Sunday, December 12, 2010

Giving up what I want most for what I want right now.

I could just leave the title of this blog post like that, and let you ponder this on your own, but I'll ramble along and give you my thoughts anyway. However, I would encourage you to think about how this applies to you in your life now.

Today in Sacrament meeting I had the opportunity to listen to our Stake Relief Society President speak. I'm sorry, but I forget her name. It was enlightening. She told the story of a book she used to read about Cookie Monster. Remember him? I think they've made him a fanatic of veggies now--which is ridiculous if for the simple fact that cookies are WAY better than veggies. Meh, anyway. Cookie Monster was on a quest for the ultimate joy and happiness. Along the way he was presented quite craftily a cookie and he paused...Do I continue on my journey for the ultimate joy and happiness, or do I stop now and eat this cookie...right NOW? He chose to eat the cookie, and he chose here and now.

She went on to talk about how this can apply to us. How often do we give up what we want the most for what we want right now? I know in my own life, it's frequent. This applies on so many levels for me!

Firstly, I was thinking about what I want most in my life right now. And I've been trying so very hard at losing weight and thus far have been successful in losing 36lbs. This is no small feat. I mean, come on! It's a 1st grader! Ha! So I'm really very happy with my success, however, I often reason--at least to myself--that I can have another cookie and go over my daily points and use a little of my weekly points because, well, it doesn't happen that often. And the weekly points are there for a reason. But what I want the most is to lose more weight. I want to be healthier, trimmer, I want to be able to continue to run easier, to wear a certain the question then becomes, am I willing to give up what I want the most for that extra cookie? I mean, I'm already having a cookie, that's within my budget for points...but do I really want another?

I'm going to start asking myself this question more often. Today was my weigh in and I didn't lose any weight. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose. I knew this was going to happen because yesterday was my office Christmas party and I overate and used a lot of my weekly points. I even remember thinking at one point during dinner, actually I had a full on inner monolog going on and it looked something like this:

Me: Do I want to eat dessert?
Me: Well, you don't need it.
Me: I want it.
Me: You don't need it...
Me: But, if I don't use any of my weekly points I'll lose them tonight.
Me: This is true.
Me: Besides, I still have like 30 activity points I could use too if I needed.
Me: This is true.
Me: It's not like you're gonna be even close to using those.
Me: Right. Exactly.
Me: So just have the dessert.
Me: Done.

Turns out I did have the dessert, and it was gritty and I didn't even eat it all, but had to count it anyway. Bummer. So I chose right now. And this particular time, it wasn't worth it. Now, of course, if we were talking an oatmeal fudge bar...

Then I started thinking about this on a spiritual level. Which is the point the RS President intended. What I want most is eternal life in the highest kingdom of heaven. I wonder when I make my choices now if I considered this question before chosing anything, "Will I be giving up what I want the most, for what I want right now?" and then consider that each choice I make will bring me that much closer or farther away from my goal...would I chose the same?

I typically don't make choices that will pull me in a direction that isn't where I should be going, where I want to be going, where Heavenly Father wants me to be. I make bad choices, but I've been given the very real opportunity to repent and be forgiven, and I often do and am.

The last speaker was a member of the High Counsil. And for the life of me I can't remember his name either, but he told stories of his life and how each trial or wonderful event was a gift to him. And I cried like a baby, because I was thinking of the many, many...too many to I've been given throughout my life. I cannot possibly ever repay my Father in Heaven for them, but I'm not going to be discouraged and stop trying. He simply asks in return to have faith, have hope, to live like His son. These are simple things that I make harder on myself, so I'm going to try to make things simpler so my goal...what I want the most is what I'm choosing right now, too.


vaxhacker said...

Very important points to always keep in mind. I'm feeling the extra cookie temptation myself trying to get back to my weight I worked so hard to get to the first time, so I can relate to that :)

Spiritually, it's a life-long learning experience, isn't it?

The Garver Family said...

It really, really is.

Stacey said...

Glad to have a new post :) Loved it. True, true, true. Hugs, and Merry Christmas sis!

meganconser said...

Thank you for your thoughts Rebecca. You have no idea how much I appreciate and admire you.