Help

Calling for help/advice with Alex. I have no clue here how to correct this. Alex is my middle child, maybe that is why we're having such difficulty with him. He is very angry all the time. I can only attribute it to anger because of how he acts. He tightens his fists and contorts his face and jaw and often screams so loudly along with it. He throws objects, kicks the walls, hurts his sibblings. I just don't know what to do here. I know part of it is me in that when he responds in that way I'm not always quick to be calm or patient, especially when someone gets hurt. I've tried time outs, the corner, spankings, nothing seems to work with him. I've tried calmly discussing with him how his actions make others feel, how they make me feel, and it doesn't seem to phase him. I've even fibbed to him before when he said, "I hate you", by telling him that when he says that he wants me to die and bleed and hurt and never wants to see me again. I know that's harsh, but I was thinking at the time that if he realized that by saying that the consequences were horrible he wouldn't say it anymore. It worked for awhile actually, but now that doesn't even work.

I spend extra time with him one on one because I feel that he needs the special attention so he doesn't act out. I'm wondering if he acts that way so I will give him the extra attention, and I certainly don't want him to think this extra attention is because of his behavior (which most of the time it is).

I've talked to the doctor about this and she seems to think that it is a phase, but in my opinion it is unacceptable. I cannot handle this behavior any longer. It's really wearing on me and bringing me down.

So help! I would appreciate any advise on how to handle this, and I don't even know if any of you can even offer any advise because I'm hoping you've never had this happen before, but if you can please offer it.