A muted joy.

Ugh. I hate it when I can't let go of something sometimes. It's like my brain gets stuck, and it doesn't rest until I talk it out or write it out. So I'm writing it out because little listening ears are around all the time--and today of all days, well, yesterday now, should be a happy day.

Austin won the Pinewood Derby! How exciting and wonderful and I'm just...so happy for him! He put in a lot of work into that car, along side his dad, that paid off. There were hang ups. Definitely. He's been working on that car for about 3 weeks now. I regret not taking pictures of his progress.

He and his dad took a lot of time deciding which car style he wanted. They looked online at many different types of cars. I remember Austin complaining for a few days after he sawed the whole car in half that his arm hurt. He kept asking if his car looked cool, after only sanding for a few minutes.

I was pleased to see the effort and time he put into this was done in excitement, at how just...everything was shaping up. He was so excited. Is excited.

Yesterday when he won the first time, he was beyond estatic. I think he gave a whoop and you couldn't wipe the grin off his face. I was down at the finish line, and he exclaimed, "I won!" Yet, when another child told him he won and offered him encouragement, he returned it..."I think you got second!" Not...an in your face...ha! I was pleased.

The second time he won, he was incredulous. I was once again at the finish line and once again saw his reaction and joy at having won a second time. Excited is an understatement. Seriously.

Wouldn't you know, Grandma and Papa were there and excited as ever and said, "I can't believe he won!" And we, his family, were all just...excited.

Yet.

Yet knowing other kids, and parents, didn't win that particular race...I told my son something that I sorta regret.

Let me back up a little. Last year, Austin didn't even place. He put in the same sort of effort, but the result was not the same. This year, we explained to him before we went that there were a lot of cars. That his chances of winning were slim to none and it wasn't about winning, but the adventure of building the car with his dad and getting to use the cool power tools, etc. So, he was excited regardless.

After he won the second race, I pulled him aside and said, "There are other kids who haven't won a race yet. You may not win again...it could have just been chance that you won two times already. So don't show your excitement." Yeah, we can all have a collect sigh about what a crap mother move that was. And honestly it was in response to another parent's grimace. Which is so stupid on my end.

As a parent of more than one child, it's often I have the opportunity to witness the differences in my children. What one is good at, the other isn't.

Austin is a great kid. His spirit is one of the pure ones folks. His heart is so tender and open to just about...everything, and I have no doubt he's growing up to be a fine young man. He's learning lessons that will forever remain with him. He's growing up. But Austin struggles. He works so hard all the time to often...fail. He's behind in reading at school and this plays a huge role in his confidence and his ability to want to do extra things. He's often saying the wrong thing by mistake...and yes, he gets that from me.

Scouting has been something he loves. It's been something encouraging for him and has set him on a path that I like. While there have been some hangs up with the program, he has not let that discourage him from trying his very hardest to succeed in all that he does. I'm so proud of him.

I guess, I just hope he remembers this experience as a positive one. Even despite the parent politics that I just...honestly didn't even know existed because we're so new to the program. But exist anyway. I shouldn't let what someone else says or feels about the derby influence or change my opinion of it. And I certainly should be able to openly praise my own son for his efforts and ultimately his win because of it. And I shouldn't feel badly about it.

But I do. Because that's me. So instead of being his excitable happy self tomorrow at church, which I honestly would love to see, I'll likely once again, ask him to put mute on it. For the sake of others...so no one feels bad.

The funny thing is...he's taking it in stride, and yes...he's still excited. As he should be. It's me that feels the experience was sullied by an opinion that was not my own. And I just need to let that go.

And I need to finally go to sleep and stop worrying about this. Seriously.

Giving up what I want most for what I want right now.

I could just leave the title of this blog post like that, and let you ponder this on your own, but I'll ramble along and give you my thoughts anyway. However, I would encourage you to think about how this applies to you in your life now.

Today in Sacrament meeting I had the opportunity to listen to our Stake Relief Society President speak. I'm sorry, but I forget her name. It was enlightening. She told the story of a book she used to read about Cookie Monster. Remember him? I think they've made him a fanatic of veggies now--which is ridiculous if for the simple fact that cookies are WAY better than veggies. Meh, anyway. Cookie Monster was on a quest for the ultimate joy and happiness. Along the way he was presented quite craftily a cookie and he paused...Do I continue on my journey for the ultimate joy and happiness, or do I stop now and eat this cookie...right NOW? He chose to eat the cookie, and he chose here and now.

She went on to talk about how this can apply to us. How often do we give up what we want the most for what we want right now? I know in my own life, it's frequent. This applies on so many levels for me!

Firstly, I was thinking about what I want most in my life right now. And I've been trying so very hard at losing weight and thus far have been successful in losing 36lbs. This is no small feat. I mean, come on! It's a 1st grader! Ha! So I'm really very happy with my success, however, I often reason--at least to myself--that I can have another cookie and go over my daily points and use a little of my weekly points because, well, it doesn't happen that often. And the weekly points are there for a reason. But what I want the most is to lose more weight. I want to be healthier, trimmer, I want to be able to continue to run easier, to wear a certain size...so the question then becomes, am I willing to give up what I want the most for that extra cookie? I mean, I'm already having a cookie, that's within my budget for points...but do I really want another?

I'm going to start asking myself this question more often. Today was my weigh in and I didn't lose any weight. I didn't gain, but I didn't lose. I knew this was going to happen because yesterday was my office Christmas party and I overate and used a lot of my weekly points. I even remember thinking at one point during dinner, actually I had a full on inner monolog going on and it looked something like this:

Me: Do I want to eat dessert?
Me: Well, you don't need it.
Me: I want it.
Me: You don't need it...
Me: But, if I don't use any of my weekly points I'll lose them tonight.
Me: This is true.
Me: Besides, I still have like 30 activity points I could use too if I needed.
Me: This is true.
Me: It's not like you're gonna be even close to using those.
Me: Right. Exactly.
Me: So just have the dessert.
Me: Done.

Turns out I did have the dessert, and it was gritty and I didn't even eat it all, but had to count it anyway. Bummer. So I chose right now. And this particular time, it wasn't worth it. Now, of course, if we were talking an oatmeal fudge bar...

Then I started thinking about this on a spiritual level. Which is the point the RS President intended. What I want most is eternal life in the highest kingdom of heaven. I wonder when I make my choices now if I considered this question before chosing anything, "Will I be giving up what I want the most, for what I want right now?" and then consider that each choice I make will bring me that much closer or farther away from my goal...would I chose the same?

I typically don't make choices that will pull me in a direction that isn't where I should be going, where I want to be going, where Heavenly Father wants me to be. I make bad choices, but I've been given the very real opportunity to repent and be forgiven, and I often do and am.

The last speaker was a member of the High Counsil. And for the life of me I can't remember his name either, but he told stories of his life and how each trial or wonderful event was a gift to him. And I cried like a baby, because I was thinking of the many, many...too many to list...gifts I've been given throughout my life. I cannot possibly ever repay my Father in Heaven for them, but I'm not going to be discouraged and stop trying. He simply asks in return to have faith, have hope, to live like His son. These are simple things that I make harder on myself, so I'm going to try to make things simpler so my goal...what I want the most is what I'm choosing right now, too.

Do my prayers contain my hopes?

Recently I had the opportunity to attend TOFW. This was my first experience doing so, and I have a lot to blog about as a result of this experience, but today, for whatever reason, I'm being prompted to write about the title of my post.

Sometimes we receive promptings that are so strong, they're impossible to ignore. We can try, but something, inevitably, pops up to make us remember. And that's what I've been doing all day today...remembering. Hope.

This may be a bit scattered, a bit unorganzied, but I'm putting it out there anyway, because there's not time like the present.

So some things that I learned from TOFW, besides the universal message of having hope, was how important hope actually is. There were many speakers who spoke on varying ways hope helped them throughout their lives. How significant hope is...to them, to us. To me.

So here goes: Hope is as important as air. I had never really given this much merit. How can hope be as important as air? We require air, we need air...it is a universal truth and it applies to everyone. I had never considered that having hope was the same or applied to me specifically in this way. But giving it some extra thought and pondering this analogy, I find it to be most adequate. Clever these people are to address the issue of hope this way. Much like air, if we don't have hope--we die. Maybe not in the literal sense, but maybe so. How often have I been so heavy burdened in my life, miserable even? Many times, I'd venture to say, especially in the thick of things, more than my share. Each time, the only thing that pulled me out was hope. Whether it was a person, a thing, a message, a letter...one or many of these things struck me and made me hope.

We hope not for what we have, but what we believe is possible. However, is it wrong to still hope for the things that we have? I mean, I have a family, and I hope for them all the time. Maybe I'm refining my hope, then, and continuing to put in the effort for my hope to be realized. I think that's expected of me. I need to work on refining my hope for my family, and focus on the very most important of things. Recently in conference we had the opportunity to hear from President Uchtdorf and he spoke about our lives and the rushed pace of it all--and how we need to refocus on what matters most. He says, "...it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions." I think that when we slow down, we can see more clearly our hopes, but when we're rushed or pressured we lose sight of those hopes--even if a little--and when this happens, I've found that, for me, my course is unclear.

How much clearer our path, that righteous course, when hope is always in sight!

We were asked at TOFW the first day to list the things that we hoped 'for'. No hope, no venture, no dream was too large to hope for. The next day, we listed what we hoped 'in'. I have to take pause for a moment to reflect on these lists. Wipe my eyes and blow my nose, because my lists are very similar.

I'll show you what I mean, here's some things on my hope for list: A happy eternal life. Jon to be happy with his career choices. Jon to be happy. Austin to be happy. Alex to be happy. Samantha to be happy. For my family to know God loves them. To get to my goal weight loss. Financial security.

And my hope 'in' list: Christ. Jon. Austin. Alex. Samantha. Susan. My ability to lose weight. My ability to provide for my family. Myself to achieve eternal life.

There are other things for which I both hope for and hope in, but I found that these things were the most important to me, and thus were listed first. How similar they are!

Having hope is not something that will weaken us, but strengthen us. Provide us with an understanding that God loves each and every one of us. That He knows our basic needs and will always meet those needs. Which leads me to the one question I've been struggling with...Do my prayers contain my hopes? Or perhaps I should be even more specific...Do my prayers frequently contain my hopes?

Sometimes I find myself asking Heavenly Father for something, but it's once...and it's more of a need. Sometimes a desire. It's not that I think it's not important enough to ask more than once for...it's just that I feel like I ask for so much as it is--that what I hope for isn't as important to Him to hear about, than the things that I geniunely need. And I KNOW that He wants to hear from me always, about anything, but maybe I should consider He hopes for me to ask Him ALL THINGS.

How can I remember to prayerfully contain my hopes on a consistent basis? Are my hopes really too far different than my needs? What will jog my memory while I'm on my knees? A ribbon tied on my wrist? Or is it more that I need to better know that I'm worthy to have my hopes realized? Maybe a combination of those things and more.

As I sit here contemplating what I can do to further clarify and refine my hopes, I'm prayerful that I'll get it right for myself.

But I have to put on roller skates right now and get a million things done. I hope for enough time to do them.

Being blessed.

I honestly don't even know if anyone reads this anymore. It was never my intention to bag out and quit blogging...it just sort of happened. So many things have happened over the last year, and I do realize that it has been almost an entire year since I last posted.

I do use Facebook though! I'm under Rebecca Garver...which I think is pretty obvious, but you never know.

I guess I just wanted to come on here and say that I feel my Savior's love for me these days. A friend of mine is going through a rough patch, not similar to mine, but she doesn't have the knowledge of Heavenly Father's plan, or feel Christ's love and perfect brightness of hope in her life. I worry for her.

Despite the fact that there is a possibility that I might not be able to have another child, I feel comforted. I feel the strong embrace of the Savior and the power of His touch in my life. I cannot possibly know why the things that happen happen sometimes, but I cannot question Heavenly Father's love for me. I cannot thank Him enough for sparing my life so that I can live it with my sweet husband and children.

The last week has been probably the most painful of my life. Like, considering actual physical pain. But I'm getting through it. Each day the stairs are easier to manage. Last night I slept through the night completely. Today I applied make-up, and despite the fact that I'm still so utterly pale, it helped me to feel better. I went to work, only for an hour or so, but I wasn't too winded, and I managed.

Little things. I'm noticing the little things today that I normally don't give a second thought to--well, I'm grateful for them. I feel blessed to be able to do them.

I'm still slow and have a heavy heart. Ridiculous things still set me off, and I cry. I cry, a lot, for me. But it's okay. I'm going to cry it out if I want to. It's been a week. I need more time and I'm going to take it. And I'm going to cry.

Tomorrow another sweet sister is going to be taking my children for me in the morning so I can rest. The love we've received from our Relief Society has been astounding, and very much appreciated. The meals that have been provided in my absence and since I've been home have been lovely and nurishing and just...so terrific. Last Monday I had my grocery list completed and planned to shop in the afternoon with Sam. I never made it, of course, so those meals provided so lovingly on our behalf saved us. I'm so grateful.

While I've got a ways to go, quite a lot actually, it doesn't seem too far. It doesn't seem to daunting or unrealistic or unmanagable. I'm grateful for this.

I'm grateful for so many things.

A lot.

There's been so much happening lately, I can hardly wrap my brain around it.

I've been working a lot more lately. Sherwood Oral Surgery has been up and running since April, but only in the last month or so has it really started to take off. This means that I've been working on Tuesday's and Friday afternoons over in Sherwood. It's been an interesting experience. The office over there is quite a bit different from the Portland office. The people over there are nice, but the dynamic is SIGNIFICANTLY different than the Portland office. Of course it's going to be different - I've been with the Portland office for almost 11 years...I'm used to it. Over in Sherwood, however, it's just different. I can't explain it any other way.

Then, the actual office itself is like 20,000sqft or something INSANE! There's entirely too much room to get lost in. I can't figure out where I'm going half the time. Oh, and I've chinned twice now. It's weird. I don't know if I like that part of it because you have to hold still for so long and my hands kind of cramp. I'm not complaining though...too much.

I have a lot of new responsibilities that I've never had before for this new office and I'm both excited to learn and scared to death. Mostly scared because I'm extremely anal retentive and everything has to be perfect. And since my doctor has lost some receipts, etc...well, that just makes me all nervous and such. LOL

We're planning a trip to Mt. Hood this weekend and into early next week. I'm excited for another break, even if it is only a couple of days this time. The following week we hope to head out to either Haag Lake or Detroit Lake...haven't decided yet. I have to be back by the 25th for my next hearing. Hopefully the last one before the trial in October. I can't wait for that mess to be over and done with...it's too much sometimes.

So, the kids have been doing very well. They are all rapidly getting bigger and making me laugh with the things they say. I told Alex the other day that he was going to be such a big boy going to Kindergarten and he says, "Being a big kid is lame!" Nice huh? That one is going to be just like his father with all his little quirks and quick wittiness. A little mini-Jon.

I hope this finds you all well and having a great summer! :)

Another funny.

It seems the only things I've been posting lately have been things that the kids say that I find funny. For the sake of keeping things perserved and remembered, I had to share this as well.

I made lunch this afternoon and the kids were playing in the living room with dominos. They were building all sorts of things, houses, tables, chairs, making robots...just all sorts of things. Anyway, I called them to the table so we could eat and placed their food in their respective places.

Just as we were all gathered together, Alex said, "Wait! Hang on mom we have to do something real quick, even smart people forget things!" And he ran off to make his creation before he forgot what it was that he wanted to make.

That kid cracks me up more times than I even post...hot dang!

Ancestors

Today during breakfast I had a very interesting conversation with my children. Alex started it. He asked me whether I had two moms. I told him that I had only one mom that gave birth to me, but another mom, Grandma Susan, who stepped in when my mom couldn't. Essentially. That seemed to bode well with them.

A few minutes later, Austin asked me if I knew my dad. I told him that I did not. He wondered why my mom didn't know who he was. How to explain that mess to him... Alex piped in and said, "Maybe your dad didn't like your mom." Simple enough right? Maybe...I really don't know anything to explain further on the subject so I get up to put more food on our plates to drop the subject.

Then, Alex pipes up and asks, "Mom, do we have ancestors?" I told him that we did.

Austin then asks, "Do we have an-brothers, too?" I had to ask him what he said again to be sure, and he repeated himself. At this point I'm twitching around in silent laughter because dang, that was funny right there.

I explained to him what having an ancestor meant and I don't think he really understood why I was laughing so hard, but seemed to accept the answer.

Kids say the funniest things.

Burnt

Yesterday I had this great idea. Don't put on sunscreen...get a little burnt and it'll turn into a tan.

What the heck!?

So, I think it would have worked if it wasn't for the fact that I was out in VERY HOT weather for 4 hours. I'm lobster red, like, really.

We went to the river again yesterday and it was very relaxing and fun and there was even a slight breeze at time. I think it cooled down to like 97 degrees or something tolerable, so that was also nice.

The day before we went to the lake and low and behold, all of us got sick. Turns out that there was a rare blue green algae growing in the middle of the lake that got stirred up by a bunch of boats. When ingested it causes flu like symptoms. Yeah...

Then, if that's not bad enough, we had to worry about West Nile virus from the bugs. I got bit once, and my kids didn't get bit at all, but Calvin got a nasty bite and his leg swelled up. And Rannon...well, that poor kid has bites all up and down his legs.

But, we were out in the beautiful weather and played for hours in the water and had a blast. Was it worth it? Sure was. Towards the end of the night we might have all been thinking twice about it, especially if the bathroom was otherwise occupied, but still. It was good.

I'm not sure when we'll head back home...this feels too good to rush it right?

Ok, onto that run before it hits 85...

Rodeo

Yesterday I went to my first rodeo. It was very cool. The announcers were what made the show, I believe. Some of the riders won over $60,000!

The bull rider competition was insane. Only one bull rider managed to stay on for 8 seconds. Period. So needless to say he won that cash prize.

There was one rider whose name was Cash. His parents named their first child Rope, second child Tye, and third Cash. So when Cash had his first son, he named him Straight Cash. BiZarre. It was sort of funny though. Apparently, according to the announcers his mother, on a scale from 8-10 for hottness is a 12. They were going on and on about how hot his mom was. Poor kid.

We're planning a trip to the river today to do some rafting. It'll be 108...or something crazy, so we might not be out for that long.

It's been very relaxing on vacation. I've really enjoyed it. It's been a long time coming.

Party time?

The title says it all. I have to spill on what happened yesterday because it was just sooo funny!

I hear the doorbell and am not expecting anyone, so I run to get it...all the while thinking it's going to be a salesman asking me if they can clean my carpet for the hundredth time this week...

I open the door to find a nice young man there ready to come into my house! Upon closer inspection I realize...wait a second!? Is that a Willoughby? I'm pretty sure that's a Willoughby...

"Hey," said Willoughby says, "is this where the party's at?"

.....

"Um, no, sorry. We're not partying here right now." I laugh. *If he only knew...*

"Oh, well can you tell me where the party is?" So polite he asks, fully expecting me to know.

"Sorry hon, I didn't even know there was a party anywhere!" Laughing again.

"Oh, well, there is a party and someone said it was here..." Looks around for the first time and shrugs.


Then I proceeded to go out and talk to his mom and laugh because this was what I needed yesterday as a break. It was so funny.

We're leaving for vacation for 2 weeks. I'm so excited! It's a good thing he didn't barge in or anything because he would have been acosted by laundry anywhere he turned in my house right now. LOL

Just a bunch of junk.

The boys and Jon are camping. I'm home with Sam.

We're being lazy. It's nice.

Anyway, just now, she finally woke up for good this time. She did wake up early this morning to go to the bathroom, but curled up next to me and fell back asleep. I've been up for a bit reading.

Her stomach growled and she proudly exclaimed, "My stomach farted!" Really, really loud. It was funny. Then her stomach growled again and she started giggling. It was really cute.

Well, that's not too bad right? Last night we went to Panera for some dinner, well, I did at least. She wanted Wendy's nuggets, so we stopped there as well. While we were waiting for my food at Panera she farted. She very loudly stated that, "I farted!" There were a few people right around us and some people behind the counter who laughed. The girl making some smoothies about messed her pants I think. She was laughing so hard and told me thanks for bringing her in to brighten her day.

If that's all it took, I wonder what sort of day she had.

Anyway, we watched some cartoons when we got home and went to bed. Today, we'll eat some breakfast and get our toenails painted. I'm going to take her to the place I get my pedicures. We'll see how we manage that.

Jon and the boys will be back later today. I hope they had a lot of fun at the Ward Campout. The bishopric made the best pancakes I've ever had in my life last year...so I'm jealous that I don't get to get some this year, but since I'm taking off so much time this month as it is, I couldn't miss work to attend this year.

Now, I'm just rambling, I know, but I have to say that last night (of course it would be when Jon was gone) the strangest thing happened. Tucker tried to chew his leg off! I've never seen something like it before. I was very, very freaked out. He kept biting his leg so hard and chewing on it so hard that he would whine and growl. He looked like he was in pain or something. I looked him over and I didn't find any ticks or fleas and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. This went on for about an hour. I really have no clue what was wrong with him, but he eventually calmed and relaxed and went to sleep. It was very weird. Anyone ever hear of such strange behavior?

Anyway, I gotta stop the stomach farting...

New Quote

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson

Whoa, right?

Hotel For Dogs

So, today, Austin and Alex had a really funny conversation. What made it funny is when you realize how extremely alike your kid is to you, or your spouse. This was so totally a moment where you could completely tell that Austin is his father's son.

Austin: Hey Mom? You remember that dog on Hotel For Dogs that only had three legs? I can't remember his name...do you remember it?

Me: *thinks* Um, sorry honey, I don't even remember a dog with three legs. Maybe they called him 'old three legs'?

Austin: Yeah, maybe that's it.

Alex: How did he walk around with only 3 legs?

Austin: *proceeds to demonstrate the process*

Alex: You mean like this? *mimicks his brother and they are now both attempting a three legged walk*

Austin: Yeah, like that see.

Alex: Well did the dog die because he only had three legs?

Austin: *annoyed* You watched the same show I did! *rolls eyes*


That, right there my friend...is exactly something Jon would have said. Only he'd say it to me. I forget things all the time. It's not my fault, but I get the same response.

So funny.

Funny.

Who knew playing forts was so tiring?

A good day, sort of.

Today was another court day. It wasn't as bad as the first. I sort of knew what to expect. The defense attorney sort of irritated me, but I think he was trying to. Big jerk.

Next week I have a meeting where I'll be going over my testimony and helping the District Attorney however I can. It's the least I can do, I guess.

It looks like an end is coming though, and I really look forward to that. This has just drained me completely. I cannot get to the end fast enough. I feel plagued constantly and I'm so weary.

It looks like I'll have two more hearing dates to attend and then the trial is tentatively set for October. I don't look forward to it. What's especially hard about this is that this whole thing seems to rest on my shoulders. It's a lot of pressure and I feel crippled and burdened. And I just want to scream at people because this isn't our fault and we didn't choose this, but it feels like we're being punished. I know we're not, I know I'm not...but it feels that way.

I've prepared my victim's resolution statement that has taken me months to compose. It's been in almost every thought I've had. I tend to overthink things, but it's very important and I didn't want to miss anything. I've condensed it to 2 pages. It means I'll wear my heart on my sleeve and be vulnerable and show my broken heart, but it needs to be done. It has to be done.

Everyone is well. Sorry for the fail at updating like my usual chipper self...or disturbed self, or funny self. Meh. Whatever.

Well, I gotta head out for my run. I've been doing very, very well. I'm increasing my mileage and consistently bettering my time. It's getting easier. Although, the other day I ran up two hills in the same run, and I have to say it about killed me. Still though, I managed 10:13 per mile...not too shabby for a big girl like me. :)

I hope you are all well.

Happy News

First, to explain the happy news, I should tell you the terrible news.

Last week, Tuesday, our three dogs, Buddy, Cherrio and Grey died. It was one the most horrific things I've ever had to witness. It breaks my heart.

Samantha, being the adventurer we all know she is, found some gopher poison (we didn't even know we had this) and emptied the entire bottle into the dog's water dish. I won't go into detail, except to say that it all happened very, very quickly. I was able to be with Buddy and Grey during their final moments. Cherrio, sadly, died alone.

While our hearts are still very much broken and we are still in a bit of shock from the loss of three of our family members, we found ourselves quite lonely around here...despite all the noise going on and people around.

We decided to look for another dog. This is not to say that our feelings of saddness or the loss of our friends is any less.

So, we now have Tucker. Tucker is almost 3 years old and he's a Brittany Spaniel. He's very, very cute. He's very shy, but really good around the kids. He's never been on stairs before, so that's sort of funny to watch. He pretty much flies down the stairs if he has to go on them, but refuses to go up them.

He has a special fondness of me, which is good, but hasn't been ideal today. Simply because I'm getting dictation caught up and he's sitting under the desk at my feet farting like nobody's business. Which is repulsive to say the least...in fact, I can see the green fumes wafting up as I type. So NOT COOL!

Anyway, he's been fine so far and we look forward to having him a long, long time.

Very sweet.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old. Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore..So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8
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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more...My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
________________________________

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7
________________________________

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
________________________________

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
________________________________

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
________________________________

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
________________________________

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6
________________________________

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
________________________________

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.'
Chris - age 7
________________________________

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
________________________________

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'
Karen - age 7
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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
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And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Beach

I don't typically call the Oregon Coast the beach. If simply for the fact that I think of the beach as really warm and sunny and when your feet touch the sand...well the sand is hot.

But...yesterday we went to the beach and it was sunny, reasonably warm and the sand was hot on your feet. It was beautiful and we didn't even need jackets. The kids wore jackets, however, because I made them.

Andrea and James tagged along, they even agreed to ride with Austin and Alex...and I'm told they talked constantly. We lucked out on the ride home because everyone was so exhausted and didn't have much energy to move around or talk or anything else.

We ended up getting like $35.00 worth of candy, which at this one shop meant that we got 5 pieces of taffy. Just kidding...about only getting 5 pieces. We got fudge, taffy, chocolate and just a ton of candy. Then...if that wasn't bad enough, we got ice cream afterwords. However, I'm happy to report that since we paid an arm and leg to get the candy first, we were able to save .25cents/cone we bought. Black Licorice ice cream is the absolute best.

It was busy, long day and we walked miles, but we shared time together, had fun and made memories. More importantly we got to share love with each other by holding hands, playing sand castles and being us.

We need more days like that. :)

The pinkie sneaky.

I went for a run tonight, did 2 1/2 miles. It felt really, really good. While I was running I was thinking about my day and specifically my children because, well, they sort of hang around a lot and it's hard not to notice them. Not to mention that they need to be fed and watered, like, all the time. So, chances are, during the day I'm spending time with them...constantly. LOL

Anyway, what I'm about to tell you us fail proof. Well, mostly. I don't think I've shared this with you before, and while running I thought of that and felt it just completely selfish of me not to. Thus, I will explain to you the pinkie trick. It's a little sneaky, but it works. Seriously.

As a parent, I want to believe I've raised honest to goodness kids. They don't lie to me...often. When they do, I can tell they are lying by using their pinkie...and that same pinkie tells me with 99.9% accuracy whether or not they are telling the truth, or lying. It's very simple really. I should also note that I did not come up with this on my own, but my sweet Vondie Blondie passed it on to me years ago. It's darn near fail safe. In fact, when you use pinkie and said pinkie produces and tells you your child has lied...95% of the time you get a confession and, "I'm sorry". So...it's highly effective.

Here's what you do. It's very simple. Takes little time. The first time you use this trick, you may need to explain it a little to the party involved in suspicious activity or whatever. For example:

Me: "I'm going to ask you a question and I will know if you are lying or not. Austin, did you poke your brother in the eye on purpose?" <---Something simple, to the point, they can answer yes or no.

Austin: "No"

Me: "Let me see your pinkie." <---simple simple simple. (Note, it doesn't matter if it's left or right pinkie...they both tell the truth.)

Austin: Shows me his pinkie while sort of hiding it and glancing at it.

Me: "You've just lied to me. Your pinkie told me the truth. You did poke your brother in the eye on purpose."

Austin: "Well he was bugging me!" <---confession and angrily shoves pinkie into pocket. Will probably teach that pinkie thing or two later.


SO...now we have an example out of the way let me explain. When you ask your child to show you their pinkie, if they are lying they will become uncomfortable, will look at their pinkie, maybe try to hide it from your complete view, wiggle it around a little bit like they think it'll sport a mouth and start talking to you...maybe even all of these things simultaneously. When they do this, you know they are lying. They are looking at their pinkie to see what on earth you can see that tells you they're lying.

When you ask your child to show you their pinkie and they show you their pinkie straight away, hold it up bold, do not look at it and look at you instead, they are telling the truth. Everytime. (Unless they figure out the trick, in which case...good luck with that now.) They don't have any fear or hesitation because they know they are telling the truth. They don't need to see what their pinkie looks like because there's no way it would betray them. Then you can praise them for being truthful. (They might, after you're done, reflect on their pinkie to determine how in the heck you know this...I think I clocked Austin sitting his bed one night pinching it, moving it all around and just overall baffled on how it could possibly tell me the truth everytime for like 15 minutes.)

So there you have it. Vonda said that this trick worked for her son until he was almost 15. So, that's really saying something. LOL

LOL

Seriously. I spoke too soon. Alex and Sam have the flu, again. I knew it was too good to be true. I hope it's only a 24 hour thing this time.

Last night and tonight I got so many deals at the store using the Living Well deal at Safeway. It's ridiculous. :)

Here's what I got with $47.12:

6 80 count Hefty Large Kitchen bags
12 12pack cans coke products (caffiene free, of course)
3 24pack bottled water
8 packs gum
32 boxes of capri suns
2 packages 1lb ground turkey
2 packages Tyson chicken nuggets (large bag)
4 packages American singles cheese
6 pkgs of 4 count Smart Balance butter
6 tubs Smart Balance butter
1 6 pack Dove bar soap
1 large Lawry's seasoning salt
2 12 count pop tarts
1 bag Fritos
1 bag Tostitos chips
2 gallons milk
4 12rolls of Cottenelle toilet paper
10 pkgs Electrosol gel tabs
1 bottle Life Water
1 tin foil
1 Lysol disinfectant


That's it. I should have spent without coupons: $405.79...not a bad haul. Average savings of about 88%....or so. I'll take it.